Yeah, this is a negative post, but it's a good thing to nail down. If you know what to avoid being, it prevents you from making your life worse, and might enlighten just how to make your life better.
So without further ado, here's my definition of a "loser":
Someone who is able to get what they want and doesn't.
Sounds simple enough. But I've given this some thought, and there's a lot more to it. Each element of that sentence has a lot of meaning ...
First of all, "Someone who", is not just there to make the sentence coherent. It implies personhood. And being a person implies a lot, but in the way I'm using it here, it means having a basic level of compassion for other human beings (and life in general), and to always act in accordance with that compassion. Anyone who fails in this, really isn't a person, and is ... a loser.
Imagine a star employee at a health insurance company, who has earned herself a handsome salary because of her willingness to deny insurance claims for dying people. She has a lot of money, probably has much of what she wanted, but holy fuck, she. killed. people. And for no real reason. The company can take a hit for dying people. Write it off as a charitable donation, if anything. Her "person card" has been revoked. Loser. The worst kind of loser.
Next up, "is able to". Clearly, someone who is born in the poorest parts of Africa, and remains poor their whole life, can't really be blamed for living their whole life in poverty. They just might be able to get out of that life. Although, they sure as hell better try! They better try to look beyond the world they know, and see if there's something better for them and their family elsewhere. They better take advantage of what opportunities given to them by, say humanitarian groups, to learn skills that will help them to earn a living ... somewhere.
But not everyone can leave, and that's clearly just unfortunate. And there are some people who sincerely don't want to leave the place they are born and raised. If that's what they want, then you can't blame them for staying. Although they better not bitch about it, if that is their choice to stay.
On a related note, we come to "get what they want". This I think is the most important part of the above statement. Because it is not what society says the person should achieve or acquire, but what that person has decided. To let the culture of the society you're born into to decide your life is the epitome of being a loser. To not assert your individuality, and survive on pure conformity, almost revokes your "person card", but not quite. It just puts you on the lowest rung of personhood.
It also implies that the person has given serious thought to what they want. If anything defines a person, it's what they want. And it really doesn't matter what that is, as long as you're honest with yourself. Perhaps all you want to do is eat pork rinds and watch bowling. If that's you, then that's you. It takes courage not to hide what is "you". Honesty with oneself is what matters most.
Alright, now probably the most obvious part - "and doesn't". This is someone who just doesn't try. Who doesn't apply themselves to get off their asses and move in the direction of what their heart desires. Whenever most people use the word "loser", this is usually what they're referring to. But just like any term that is often used, it is over used. Again, a slacker could very well be getting all that they truly want in life. To stroll down the street, buy a Big Gulp at a 7-11, and bullshit with people all day. Hey, it's more than what Congress does on any given day, and a lot cheaper.
So there it is, the definition of a loser. Don't be that person!
And what's the take-away?
Figure out wat you want, and work as hard as you can to get it, without making other people suffer.
Then you're probably living the best possible life.